Brown the beef. Heat a large skillet over medium-high. Add a drizzle of olive oil and the ground beef.
Cook, breaking it up with a spoon, until browned with some crispy bits, about 6–8 minutes. Drain excess fat, leaving about 1 tablespoon in the pan for flavor.
Sauté onions and mushrooms. Add the onion and mushrooms to the skillet with the beef fat. Cook until softened and lightly golden, 5–7 minutes.
Stir in the garlic and cook 30 seconds until fragrant.
Layer in the slow cooker. Transfer the beef, onions, and mushrooms to the slow cooker. Sprinkle in the paprika, salt, and pepper. Whisk the beef broth, Worcestershire, and Dijon together and pour over the mixture.
Cook low and slow. Cover and cook on Low for 6–7 hours or High for 3–4 hours.
The flavors will deepen and the mushrooms will become tender.
Thicken the sauce. In a small bowl, whisk the flour with 1/4 cup of the hot cooking liquid until smooth (or stir cornstarch with cold water). Stir this slurry into the slow cooker. Cover and cook on High for 15–20 minutes until slightly thickened.
Add the creaminess. Stir in the cream cheese until melted and smooth.
Then stir in the sour cream. Taste and adjust seasoning with more salt and pepper as needed. If it’s too thick, add a splash of broth or water.
Cook the noodles. Meanwhile, cook egg noodles according to package directions until just tender.
Drain and toss with butter if you like.
Serve. Spoon the creamy beef stroganoff over the warm noodles. Top with chopped parsley and a crack of black pepper. Serve hot.