Brown the beef: Heat olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.
Add ground beef, breaking it up as it cooks. Season lightly with salt and pepper. Cook until browned and no pink remains, about 6–8 minutes.
Drain excess fat if needed.
Soften the aromatics: Add diced onion and minced garlic to the skillet with the beef. Cook 2–3 minutes until the onion turns translucent and fragrant.
Load the crockpot: Transfer the beef mixture to your slow cooker. Add cauliflower florets, beef broth, tomato paste, mustard, smoked paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, oregano, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
Stir well to combine.
Cook: Cover and cook on Low for 5–6 hours or on High for 2.5–3 hours, until the cauliflower is very tender.
Make it creamy: Add the cream cheese cubes and heavy cream. Stir, then cover and cook on High for 15–20 minutes until the cream cheese melts fully.
Thicken and finish: Use an immersion blender to blend a few quick pulses directly in the crockpot to slightly purée some of the cauliflower. This thickens the soup without flour.
Don’t over-blend—you want plenty of texture. Stir in shredded cheddar until melted and smooth. Taste and adjust seasoning with more salt and pepper.
Serve and top: Ladle into bowls and add your favorite toppings like chopped pickles, bacon, or green onions.
Serve hot.